Tears Of Forever
by Lionheart1
Summary: AU Squinoa! Squall wakes up in a mysterious town, only to be left with the biggest burden of his life. A soldier fighting in a losing battle, confronted by love and the difficult paths that lie ahead.
1. Chapter One

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything, apart from the original characters used in this story. _

_Authors note: I'm kind of nervous about writing this, because I'm not sure if it will be any good or not. It's kind of AU, with more of a darker feel to it I guess._

Tears Of Forever

Chapter One

_For my dreams I hold my life_

_For my wishes I behold my night_

_The truth at the end of time_

_Losing faith makes a crime_

**Nightwish – Sleeping Sun**

Clouds in the distance were beginning to gather, as the young woman looked to the skies. The once warm day had quickly changed as a cold wind blew throughout the small town. The cool temperatures gust through the lone woman's hair, and prickled her skin, yet she seemed to stand unfazed by the temperature.

Pushing the long strands of auburn hair behind her shoulder, she continued to gaze out into the horizon at the emerald waters, rippling as it collided with the wind. She loved to watch the sea; it was one of those things that seemed to calm her mind whenever she felt troubled. The sea was the only comfort to her at the moment. Sometimes she wondered if when the time came for her to leave this world, her spirit would be carried away by the gentle waves of the water. Sometimes, she believed that thought, and it gave her a feeling of tranquillity inside.

This morning she had celebrated her eighteenth birthday. She had not been able to sleep the previous night, so instead she had watched the sun rise in the sky as the night had been replaced with the light of day. The day seemed to have passed by very slowly, she was not sure if she was happy or sad at that fact. A burning anxiety had been building up inside of her over the last few weeks, and today it would soon be over. It would _all _be over.

From behind her, she could hear footsteps approaching. The sounds stopped as she felt a presence behind her, and a hand rested on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. She glanced over her shoulder briefly, to be faced with her father. He smiled down at her, trying to be brave, but even she could see the sadness within his eyes. Placing her hand on top of his, she forced a smile back. _Stay brave, _she told herself silently, trying to pull back the urges to hold him tightly while she cried. _Don't let them worry. _

"You should come inside now, Eve," he spoke with his eyes fixed on his daughter. "I wouldn't want you to catch a cold."

Eve smiled at hearing her fathers concern, and then turned back to watched the emerald sea beneath the darkening sky for a moment. "You shouldn't worry about me, Dad," she said softly, holding on tighter to his hand as she spoke. Releasing a sigh, she turned on her heels and followed her father inside their small home.

A small fire was lit by the walls, filling the room with a dim glow. In front of the fire sat a woman in an armchair, sowing some material. As Eve stepped closer, she could see that this was a dress. Her mother looked up at her with a smile, mirroring the same sadness she had seen in her father.

Eve watched as her mother turned back down to stitching the dress together, as she sat down on the floor near the fire, letting the heat emanating from it warm her skin. She had always loved to watch her mother hard at work, ever since she was a child. In a way, she felt kind of sad that she would never get to watch her again.

"It's almost done," her mother said, her gaze still concentrating on the dress as she made the last few stitches. Once the dress was done, she stood from her seat and motioned for Eve to stand next to her. Placing the dress against her body, her mother looked at her daughter, taking in every feature of this tranquil moment they were having together. The _last. _

"How does it look?" Eve said, observing her mothers features.

Her mothers eyes trailed up from the pale white material, and up to her daughter, "Maybe you should try it on," she spoke, a reluctant tone present in her voice "I want you to look your best for when the Mayor and priests come."

Eve nodded her head slightly, taking hold of the dress and feeling the soft textures on her fingertips. "Okay," she said quietly, before looking up at her mother. "When will they be coming?"

"In about half an hour," spoke up a male voice. Her father had been silently present at the back of the room. Watching his daughter and wife together. "Maybe sooner, I'm not entirely sure."

She watched her father shift around the room, playing with his hands like he did whenever he felt uncomfortable. "You should try on your dress. I'd love to see it on you," he quietly said after a moment of silence. He remained silent until she had left the room to put on the garment.

Upon her leaving, he turned to his wife seeing her seeming to collapse into the armchair. Walking towards his her, he placed an arm around her. "She's still here, Vallery," he said trying to comfort her, yet he knew that what he said wouldn't make any difference to the situation they were in.

"I know," she said releasing a sigh, "I just wish they didn't have to do this. She's never hurt anyone. Ever."

Vallery looked up at her husband, desperate for him to say something to put an end to all of this. Instead, the two stayed in silence, finding a little comfort in each other for the time being, until Eve approached back in the room wearing the dress. It was a long white garment that flowed to the ground, almost making it look like she was floating as she walked. Eve looked towards the mirror, seeing her reflection gazing back at her.

"You look beautiful," she heard her mother say from behind her.

She turned around away from the mirror to face her parents, both stood together with a smile on their faces. _A forced smile, _she thought to herself. "Thank you for making it for me," she said quietly whilst feeling awkward at the present time. After a short moment of silence, she looked down to the floor, a realisation growing inside of her. _This is happening today. _She played with her hands nervously, feeling unable to look her parents in the eye. "I'm a little scared," she spoke, almost feeling ashamed of admitting her fears.

Since she was six, she had known that it was her fate for her to leave them now. There was nothing that anyone could do about it. The last year seemed to have travelled so fast, she was not sure she was ready for all of this at the present time. She wasn't sure if she would ever be ready for this.

In the distance, she heard a loud knock on the door, not giving her parents a chance to make her feel better. For she already knew who it would be.

Looking up, she saw her parents glance at each other, both with a sad knowing look on their features, before her father went to answer the door. Upon seeing him do this, Eve took the opportunity to embrace her mother, as the tears began to well up in her eyes. Still, she tried to hold them back, for she didn't want to make this any worse for her parents than it already was.

A small feeling of security enveloped inside of her, as she felt her mother stroke her cheek tenderly. "It'll be alright," she repeatedly whispered "Don't be afraid." Hearing these words, Eve just felt worse. Although she would never want her parents to witness what was going to happen to her, in a way, she wanted her parents to be there to guide her. To make her feel at ease just before she left them. She knew that would never happen.

In the distance, she could hear her fathers voice speaking to another male. Leaving her mothers grasp, she looked over to see a man with dark hair stood by the door. Behind him, there were two other male figures, dressed in black robes with shaved heads. The black haired man studied Eve for a moment, before turning to her mother.

"I know this must be emotional for you all, but it's almost time," the man spoke. Eve recognised this man to be the Mayor of this small town. He had only been Mayor for two years, taking the job from his father after his retirement. His dark eyes studied the family for a moment before he spoke again. "I'll wait outside," he said turning towards the door to leave. "Come out when you're ready."

The sound of the door closing signalled a sudden rush of emotions through her, as she looked at both her parents. Her mother was the first to step towards her, the brave façade she had been wearing all day, had begin to fade as the tears began to well up in her eyes. She embraced her mother tightly one last time, as she heard the whimpers coming from the usually strong woman, which she had grown to look up to. This time it was her turn to try and comfort her, by telling her meaningless words in an attempt to make everything easier.

Vallery pulled away suddenly, feeling the need to take in every inch of her daughter's porcelain face. The last chance she would ever get to be with her daughter ever again. "Be brave," she said to her only daughter, kissing her on the cheek before letting her go to her father. She watched as he embraced her, cupping her chin gently like he used to do to her when she was a child.

Smiling up at her father, Eve wrapped her arms around him tightly, and then looked at both of her parents. "I love you both," she said, feeling a lump form in the back of her throat. "Take care."

Walking out of the door, she felt her parents follow her outside and into the darkening night. She stepped towards the Mayor who was looking at her expectantly. "I'm ready," she said quietly.

Upon hearing her speak, the Mayor gave a small nod and turned to his two companions. "Lets go," he called from over his shoulder. Watching the three begin to walk, Eve took one last glance at her parents. She saw the glittering tears reflecting off her mothers face in the moonlight, and it felt like it tore a part of her inside. She knew she shouldn't have looked back, standing between her parents and the Mayor with the two priests. She was stuck. Not sure whether to run back to her parents and beg for them not to take her away, or accept her fate and leave. Both possibilities would lead to the same ending. There was no choice in the situation, only a deep pain within her as she turned away and began following the priests. Never to look back at her family again.

Making her way out of the small town, many other families were stood outside their doors, watching her leave. Some of them bowed their heads as she walked past them in respect. She felt a little embarrassed, but diverted her attention, taking in the surroundings of her home. Eventually they exited the town, walking through the surroundings of the large grassy horizon. The journey was quiet, as she walked silently with the other three men. She guessed that there was nothing that could be said in this situation. A lighthearted conversation didn't really seem appropriate at this moment in time, she mused to herself. The current mood was serious; she was not sure how to act. So instead she stayed mute, not trying to draw any attention to herself.

Eventually, she saw a stone entrance to a shrine. Just the sight of it made her feel nauseous, and she could feel herself shaking, not really sure if it was from nerves or fear. Both feelings seemed evident inside her at the moment, and she had a feeling that they would only grow greater as they ventured further away from home.

The stone entranced had patterns carved into it, and as she approached it, she couldn't help noticing how beautiful it looked. Stepping through the entrance, she made her way down a cobble path, towards what seemed like an entrance to a cavern. Once inside, she felt overwhelmed by the sudden heat that blew in her face. The small path, which they walked on, was surrounded by hot crimson lava. Eve looked towards the stonewalls, seeing what seemed to be calligraphy written in a different language, engraved throughout the cavern.

She came to a sudden halt, as the priests ahead of her stopped abruptly, and turned to the Mayor who stood by her side. His eyes were fixed on many other priests that were already stood inside the cave. _Waiting for her. _The priests made a gap for her to walk through, and the Mayor gestured for her to go. Taking a few slow steps forward, they priests bowed down as she made her way past them and up a stair of rocky steps. Once at the top, she was faced with another priest. His elderly face observed her for a moment, and her eyes widened slightly as she saw a sword within his grasp.

He moved the sword from his side, placing the tip of the blade within the ground and bowed in front of her. "Hyne's descendant," his hoarse voice spoke as he bowed.

The Mayor could just see her form at the top of the high steps, a strange feeling within him. He had watched his father do this as a child, wanting to grow up like him. Now this was his job as Mayor, and he was no longer so certain if he could handle it. Seeing the girls figure disappearing beyond the steps, the Mayor had to turn away. The townspeople had accepted this as part of life now. Most of them had grown up with this tradition, deep down knowing that it was not right. He realised that the girl had only turned eighteen today. She should be enjoying her birthday with family and friends, what right did he have to take her away from all of that? What right did he have to do any of this?

Running a hand through his hair, he turned back to the priests singing a hymn as the ceremony took place. It was a holy ceremony, to show respect to the girl, but it was a torture. A torture for the girl whom would be next, as well as the girl taking part in the ceremony today. Hearing the voices rising, he suddenly felt ill. With haste, he made his way out of the building, not wanting to stay in there for a moment longer. The heat inside was becoming too much for him, along with the emotional stress. _This isn't fair, _he repeated to himself as he stood outside the shrine.

He let out a sigh as he looked up towards the night sky. Observing the stars, glowing above him. There was no point punishing himself for something he had grown up with. She wasn't the first, and he defiantly knew that she wouldn't be the last. It was a part of the town's history that was kept secret. It was the soul reason why they tried not to have any connections with other communities outside the town. This was Balamb. A small town, with the curse that should not be a burden to anyone else.

The Mayor shivered slightly within the cold night. In the distance, he could see lights laminating from the small town, and it seemed of little comfort to him. _Just a little longer, _he thought to himself, _and then I can go back home. _Even the simple thought sent shivers down his spine. What would that girl have been thinking for a comfort? She could not think of returning to her home with her parents.

His thoughts were distracted as the two priests stepped out of the cavern. Without the girl. He looked at them briefly, in silent admiration at how they did this as if it were nothing. He guessed that their faith was a lot stronger than his. Stopping his track of thoughts, he tried to focus back to a more formal manner. He nodded towards the two priests, stood patiently beside him, then made his way back into the small town.

Entering Balamb, a few of the townspeople were still stood outside, awaiting his return. He nodded towards them as he passed, trying not to make eye contact for too long as he saw the girl's parents stood in the cold. The Mayor felt he had to look away, as he heard the girl's mother crying. Her whimpers seeming to torture his senses.

Making his way through the town, he led the priests back to a small church where they departed and he was finally alone. Standing still for a minute, he realised he needed someone else beside him at this moment in time. There was nothing worse than being left alone at such a time, just like the girl. She had been pulled away from her parents, without getting much chance to say goodbye. How cold was it of him to barge in their home and take their daughter away?

Taking a brisk walk to his home, he saw his wife stood outside with a distant look on her face. Her empty gaze looked up towards him, as she heard his heavy footsteps approaching. "How did it go?" she asked.

The Mayor looked at her for a moment, unsure of how to answer. "It was a success," he said sadly, and became silent as he thought back to the last few moments with her. "It was horrible..." he whispered.

Feeling a hand touch his arm, he looked back up to his wife. "It's the way this town works," she spoke, sounding strangely emotionless. "Do you know who is next?"

He studied her eyes for a moment. She was usually so passionate and emotive; it seemed oddly strange that she was even asking such things. Before this night, they hadn't even spoken about the ceremony. They both knew what he needed to do, but he never brought up the subject because he knew she hated talking about such things. It just made him feel uneasy seeing her speak so emotionless about the topic.

"No," he replied, "We'll find out tomorrow, like what usually happens. We need to have the rest of this night in peace, to show respects to the girl."

He watched as his wife nodded slowly "You say respect the girl, but you don't even know her name," she said quietly, turning her back to him.

He stared at the back of her rigid position, wondering why she was acting so unusual. "What's wrong?" he asked, feeling worried about what had happened to her while she was away.

"I just want to know she's safe," the brown haired women spoke "I know it's selfish, but I want to make sure it's not her."

This time she turned back to him, with a desperate look on her features. "What do you mean?" he asked, ignoring the bad feeling that was rising within him. She stayed silent, her eyes fixed on the ground. "Please tell me," he said with a serious tone.

The Mayor watched as her eyes trailed back up towards him briefly, "You better look inside," she said slowly. Then her eyes rested back on the ground again, she closed them tightly hearing his footsteps making their way inside his home. Close them shut tightly, as if that would block her fears.

With curiosity, the man made his way inside his home. Then he stopped. His eyes looked back to his wife with fear. "No," he said sharply. "This can't happen," he shouted, looking back to the young child lying on the ground.

_Authors note: It sucks, I know, but I'm hoping it will get better as the story continues and I will use FF8 characters next time. Please review, and flame me if you really must._


	2. Chapter Two

Tears Of Forever

Chapter Two

_Hearts are worn in these dark ages _

_You're not alone in this story's pages _

_Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying_

_And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in_

**Sarah McLachlan – World On Fire**

_What a mess_. The group of men walked forward, their bodies aching from lack of rest. It had been two days ago when they had been sent here, on this green field of grass. When they had first arrived, the only flaw within the grassy surroundings was the anxiety growing within them.

The leader of the group looked up at the sky briefly; the sun was lowering, spilling the colour of blood across the heavens. The thought came to him, that maybe the crimson sky was reflecting off the once tranquil field. His eyes drifted from the gory sky, back down to the surroundings around him. _What a mess, _he thought again.

The sound of desperate voices could be heard faintly in the distance as the group of men made their way through the muddy field. The earth seemed to have been wounded over the past few days, attacked by the rain and leaving the water to mix with the mud as it spilled from the damaged earth. Nothing surrounding him looked like the once peaceful landscape. Not even the sky, yet as he stared back towards the bleeding night, he felt a strange sense of calmness grow within him. A kind of sick irony that showed him what his purpose in life really was.

His footsteps made their way through the field. Nothing about this place was peaceful anymore. It seemed more like a hell playground. The leader turned around to his limited number of men, each holding a weapon tightly within their grasp, as they were confronted with the many mingled corpses sprawled out along the wounded earth.

Adjusting his eyes on the horizon, he saw a group of men making their way towards them. "Stand by," he said taking his stance as the enemy approached. "We can't let them win," he said quietly to himself as he slashed his weapon in the direction of his enemy, carefully aiming the tip of the blade to slide across the throat. He watched as the nameless man fell limply to the floor, joining the rest of the dead.

Looking around him, he saw a group of approximately twenty soldiers making their way towards the small group. He knew that they had a slim chance of surviving this battle; they were one of the only groups left. Yet some part of him couldn't let go, he felt he just had to try. Turning to his right, he looked at his comrades. "Prepare your weapon," he ordered the few gunmen stood beside him.

Waiting until the soldiers were in range, he nodded to the gunmen who were awaiting his order. The others stood back, watching as the men shot down some of their rivals. Turning to face his other comrades, he ordered them to get ready for battle. The many men in front of him ran beneath the sky, and for a moment he found himself lost within the bloody night sky. _Beautiful_, he thought to himself. A crimson night, just like many other nights he had witnessed. It almost seemed like he was supposed to see this night. It was his purpose. Endless fighting. _Such a tranquil sky. _

"Commander!"

His gaze was distracted by a familiar voice, pulling his eyes away from the night, he saw his comrade cutting in front of him. He watched as the man named Nida skilfully fought with a solider who would have killed him. For a brief moment, he felt a small bit of sadness within him. That maybe he should have died when he was lost somewhere within the heavens. Breaking away from his thoughts, he concentrated back on the battle at hand as the heavy sound of gunfire from the side of him stopped briefly.

"I don't think we can keep this up for much longer," one of the gunmen said, while quickly loading up his gun again. "Squall, I don't plan on dying here."

Squall didn't say anything. He didn't get chance, before another wave of attacks were sent towards him. Defending the attacks with his gunblade, he glanced around to see how his comrades were doing. _Just a little longer, _he thought to himself as he thrust his blade into another soldier. Pulling out the blade, he aimed for another solider, pulling the trigger as the weapon pierced the skin.

As the battle continued, he watched as many of his men were killed. Some of them witnessing their first and last battle. Their blood spilling out onto the wounded earth, scarred from the war. Battling the few soldiers surrounding him, he looked around for any signs of his other men. Amongst the crowd of bloodshed, he saw four of his men still fighting. He watched as one of the remaining survivors screamed out in pain as a sword was thrust through his chest.

The mans attacker was stood above him, as he lay within the mud, taking in quick breaths. Squall ran in the direction of his injured ally, aiming his own gunblade in the direction of his foe. Watching as the man fell limply to the ground, he turned his attention back to the wounded man. Tearing a part of his jacket, he tied it around the mans waist, so it acted like a tourniquet. Holding the man's arm around his neck, Squall pulled the man up, trying to help him walk.

Squall looked around the field, which he had grown to hate. "Retreat," he shouted to his remaining men, dragging away the injured man beside him.

From the distance, he saw Nida running to aide the injured man as the rest of his troupes fled from the battle. A man named Irvine, shooting any remaining soldiers giving chase after them.

"There should be a ship nearby," Nida said, as he tried running along whilst holding the injured man with Squall.

"You know where it is?" Squall asked, as he could see the green ocean in the horizon. He saw Nida nod his head as they continued to escape from the wounded ground. After a few moments of silent walking, a relief came over his senses, as he saw no more of the soldiers visible in the distance. No more broken corpses tormenting the living as they battled each other to death.

Squall's attention turned back down towards the injured man beside him. He saw the crimson blood pouring from the bandaged wound, some had spilled onto his own clothes, he noticed as he saw the dried liquid itching his hands as it crusted. His eyes were met with Nida's, the same silent understanding overcoming the two.

"He could still make it," Nida reassured. He could see the lack of sleep and constant fighting over the last two days had taken a physical affect on his leader. His once serious and firm face now looked slightly withered, he wondered if perhaps the effects of the war had taken a sudden realisation to Squall. Nida simply shrugged away his thoughts, thinking back to the training the two had engulfed in over the last few years. He understood Squall was always withdrawn and serious, now he realised that this was a better way to approach a battle, yet he knew that he would never be able to simply shrug others off like Squall did. It simply wasn't him. Nida wanted to stand out. To be a friendly face, which other soldiers could approach, without feeling threatened, as well as coping with the violence he had seen within these past couple of days.

In the distance, Squall saw a lone boat on the shore of the beach they were quickly approaching. He realised that perhaps more of the troops had fled before Squall and his men had arrived. The boat looked rusty and old, the sight of it made him wonder if he ever would get out of this place alive. He guessed that this was a better place to be than in the middle of a losing battle. _Anything would be better than that. _

Approaching the boat, Squall lay the injured man inside the small vessel while the other three men stepped inside the boat. Pushing the small ship into the emerald depths of water and finally let himself inside the boat, as Nida worked on starting up the engine and another of his troupes offered to steer the ship.

The blonde man studied Squall for a moment, but Squall chose to ignore his gaze by looking out into the distance of what seemed like never ending water and noticed that the sun had finally set, leaving only the darkness to surround them. Looking through one of the bags Nida had placed within the vessel, Squall took out some medical supplies to aide the soldier, trying to ignore the feeling that the man who lay in front of him probably wouldn't last the night.

"Hey man, maybe you should get some rest?"

Squall looked up to see the blonde giving him a worried expression. "You've been up for two days straight," he said whilst steering the boat away from the brutal land. He saw the spiky haired man looking at him, "I think you gashed your head or something while you were fighting. Relax for a while, I don't want our Commander suffering from a concussion."

The Commander gave the man a strange look for a moment, before putting his hand up towards his head. The texture of a warm sticky liquid could be felt on his fingers, yet he didn't recall hitting his head during the battle. Thinking back now, the last two days had seemed to be all mixed into one for him. It had felt like a small eternity without any sleep, yet he wondered who could sleep at a time like this. A growing pain seemed to be emanating within his head as he studied the substance from his wound.

"Zell's right," Irvine said from his silent seat towards the front of the boat. His gaze looked at Squall briefly, before he dug through some supplies in a box on the boat. Bringing out a lantern, he went to work on lighting it, and the four men sat in silence listening to the helpless breaths of the wounded young man.

Somewhere within the night, Squall had felt the pain in his head begin to grow, until he could no longer see a clear vision in front of him. Everything seemed blurry, until it eventually turned to darkness and his consciousness around him seemed to just fade away.

The gentle sound of rain from outside was the first thing to register for him. _So weak_. It seemed almost too much effort to even think of moving at that moment in time. So he stayed within the darkness of his closed eyes, listening to the rain. For a moment, he thought he could hear voices. He could only hear it faintly, but he guessed that they were male voices talking, although he couldn't make out any of the words being said. Then the voices stopped, and he was left once again with the comforting sounds of the rain.

He stayed like this for several moments, the smell of damp ground and what seemed like incense came to his senses. It was at that time that the thought of where he actually was entered his mind. He scanned his memory, thinking back to what had happened previously. The war. He vaguely remembered the feel of his metal gunblade within his hands as he thrust it into the stomach of his enemies. They had been losing, so they fled. Nida and himself had carried an injured man, along with two other survivors, until they escaped on a ship.

After that his memory was blank, there was nothing but the questioning thoughts in his mind. Did his men make it safely, or were they all dead? Mustering up all the strength he had, he pulled his eyes open slightly. The light blinded him as soon as it reached his eyes, making him close them tightly, once more to be enveloped by the comforting darkness. At least if he stayed like this forever, he would never have to know what happened to his men. Or even what happened to himself.

_What happened? _His eyes fluttered open, slowly adjusting to the light yet still phased by the scenery around him. For a moment it all seemed a blur, then his vision began to clear and he saw he was in a small room. Tilting his head to the side, he realised he was on a bed, but the scenery around him didn't seem familiar.

Looking around the small wooden room, he observed the few ornamental features around the room. A small window was open slightly to the left of him; letting droplets of water fall onto the windowsill from the rain outside. He felt a cool breeze blow through the window, sending small ripples through the curtains as they swayed backwards and forwards in a slow motion.

It was then he realised someone was watching him. His eyes moved away from the window, and towards the open doorway. A young girl, looking no older than himself stood looking at him with a soft expression in her eyes. She seemed to turn her gaze down to the floor and blush slightly as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have been doing, before entering the room.

He watched as she briskly walked across the room, in order to close the window. She turned on her heels and approached him slowly, before taking a dressing off a table nearby and observing his head for a moment. In silence he stayed still while she changed the bandage that he realised was wrapped around his head. As she did this, he couldn't help himself briefly glance up at her every few moments. He noticed that she seemed distant, concentrating only on his wound as if he were nothing more than a lifeless person. _He was alive, wasn't he?_

Upon finishing his bandages, she turned and left the room for a minute, before returning with a glass of water in her hands. Squall watched as the raven-haired girl held her hand out for him to take the glass of water from her. Pulling himself in a sitting position, Squall held his head in pain as the world seemed to spin around. The thought suddenly came to his mind that maybe he should have stayed in a lying position. Staying still for a moment, Squall slowly lifted his head from his hands and took the glass on water as the pain began to subside.

"Thank you," he said with a hoarse voice, the back of his mouth feeling like sandpaper as the cool liquid made its way down his throat. He watched as the girl held out her hand with two small tablets inside, ready for him to take them. Squall gave her a suspicious look, his military instincts taking over as the silent girl offered a simple gesture. Pushing aside his thoughts, he reasoned that the girl had obviously let him into her home and cared for him. Taking the two capsules, he swallowed the tablets down along with the last of the water.

The young girl looked down at the man as she took the glass from his hands. She smiled slightly, thinking that she really should leave him be for the moment, yet a bigger part of her wanted to stay. He was an injured man, who probably had no idea where he was or the location of his comrades. She saw a slightly confused look within his eyes as she stayed silently staring at him, and suddenly felt uncomfortable. A thought came to the girls mind and she opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped abruptly when she heard footsteps coming from outside the room. Instead, she simply smiled slightly then made her way out of the room.

_Authors note: I'm sorry if this chapter sucks and it's boring. Just bear with me, I'm promise it'll get better as it goes on. Thank you for all the nice reviews!_


	3. Chapter Three

Tears Of Forever

Chapter Three

_My shadows the only one that walks beside me_

_My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating_

_Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_

_Til then I walk alone_

**Green Day- Boulevard Of Broken Dreams**

The growing feeling inside him was enveloping over his thoughts as he sat inside the small room. He shouldn't be here. He should be somewhere else, fighting a battle. _Anywhere but here. _She had left a few minutes ago without saying a word to him, leaving him in silent solitude within these four walls surrounding him. He had faintly heard a door close somewhere within the building, whilst the echo of footsteps belonging to more than one person had slowly disappeared.

Letting out a small sigh, he stood from the mattress. Taking a few steps from the bed, he pressed a hand against the wall to steady himself as he weakly felt the dizziness in his head erupt slightly at his sudden movements. He stayed still for a brief moment, regaining his strength, then began making his way out of the small room.

Stepping into a small corridor, which the girl had disappeared through earlier, he studied his surroundings to see a wooden, and slightly plain looking hall. At the end he could just see a stairway, which he guessed could lead to the exit of this building. For a short moment, he stopped quiet listening for any signs of life nearby. The only sounds he could hear were the distant ticks of a tall grandfather clock at the other end of the corridor, and in the background the gentle sounds of rain hitting against the windowpane could be heard.

With haste he made his way down the small staircase, where he was confronted with a set of large double doors. The dulling sky seemed to be reflecting from the misted glass within the doors, as if telling him where he needed to go. Twisting the golden handle, he felt a cool breeze emanating from behind the doors and prickling against his skin. He had realised earlier that he had lost his jacket; he guessed that whoever had cared for him had maybe taken it off.

Taking in his surroundings, it suddenly registered to him as he looked up at the large chandelier hung delicately from the ceiling, that perhaps this wasn't such a plain home. Studying the environment of expensive looking interior, he thought that perhaps the owners of this home were quite wealthy. He wondered why such a family would want to care for an injured stranger such as himself, and even more so, if they would know where his other men were. Taking one last look at his surroundings to see if there was anyone visible, he made his way out of the home, with new hopes of getting into contact with any of the people in this new place in order to find his comrades.

The cool wind and icy rain stung his head as he made his way into the outside, and looked around at the many rows of wooden buildings around him. The rain streamed from the roofs of the numerous houses, falling freely and hitting the soil were it mixed with the muddy ground in a puddle. He guessed that this was some sort of small fishing town, as he saw the murky green sea rippling wildly against the wind in the distance.

Wrapping his arms tightly around himself in order to give himself a little more warmth, he made his way out into the town, hoping the find a local to talk to. Upon his small walk around the town, he caught a glimpse of an elderly woman. Her greying hair was tied back, leaving loose strands to hang in front of her eyes as a rain hood covered the majority of her hair. He saw what seemed like a stall of flowers in front of her house, as he watched for a minute as she began lifting rows of flowers from a wooden crate and taking them inside the entrance of her home.

"Excuse me," he said making his way towards the women. He watched as the startled woman took her concentrated gaze from the flowers to the man stood before her. Her eyes looked quizzical for a moment as she studied the stranger, then as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, she returned back to her work, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of her.

"Please," Squall spoke again, "If you could just tell me where I am?"

This time the woman didn't even bother to look at him, only seemed to speed up her work at getting her flowers out of the rain. Squall stayed stood motionless in front of her as he watched her put the last few of the flowers inside her home, then slammed the door leaving him alone in the rain.

Feeling the damp droplets of water run down his face, Squall looked at the empty door, which the woman had gone through earlier. Just like the young girl before, she had disappeared somewhere out of his sight. _Disappeared, _he thought, _just like his men. _Shivering from the cold, Squall looked around him in hopes of any more people. He couldn't help thinking this place was like some sort of ghost town, as he looked down the abandoned path. _Alone. _

Ignoring the freezing dampness that was taking over his body, Squall took another walk around the town. The weather no longer bothered him; it only suited his mood at this moment in time. Changing direction, he made his way down a small path that led onto a harbour. He looked out into the distance, only to see an endless green sea. There were no boats in sight on the harbour, which seemed to anger him more. He guessed that maybe if he escaped, then he would be able to come back with more of his men, to look for those who should be here with him now. But there was nothing. No boats. Nothing. He hated being here.

Keeping his gaze onto the sea, he inwardly fought with his mind, trying not to let the situation at hand get to him. It was only a short time ago that he was on the battlefield, wishing that he were somewhere else anywhere from there. He shivered slightly at the vision of the many brutally killed corpses that had lay within that field. So many, the memory now seem distorted making the bodies seem to mix together. Leaving none of the green grass visible.

His thoughts were distracted as he heard footsteps behind him. Squall turned to face a blonde man stood with his arms crossed over his chest, and he seemed to have a snide smile on his features at seeing the shivering and wet man before him.

"You must be the injured soldier that was found last week," the man said looking down at Squall.

Last week? Squall couldn't help feeling shocked at how long he had actually been here. The battle... everything... it all felt like it happened a day ago. But a week? He turned his gaze back up to the man who was looking at him impatiently, and nodded his head.

The blonde man turned his eyes away from Squall, and out into the endless depths of the sea, before looking back at him with a suspicious look in his eye. "I hope you weren't trying to escape from here or anything," the man spoke again. He stood silent for a moment, and eyed the brunette.

"It isn't my duty to be here," Squall answered gravely.

"That's true, and anyway you probably wouldn't survive another little adventure on the boat like before," the man stated simply. "You'd be dead."

Dead. The word echoed through his mind as soon as the sentence left the mans lips. Squall turned his gaze away from the stranger, and looked out towards the immense ocean once more. "My men..." Squall started after a moment of silence, "Are they here too?"

This time there was no snide comment from the man. There was a moment of silence that passed over the two, before he spoke again. "Maybe you should get inside," he suggested turning in the direction to the main part of the town, "I was told to go get you, so that wasn't an option."

Squall turned his gaze away from the sea, and watched as the man started walking back to the town. Violently shivering from the weather, Squall felt he should do as the man said. Following the same route as the blonde man, the journey back was silent until they reached towards the house he had exited out of only moments earlier, when the man stopped abruptly.

"You never said your name," the blonde stated, pressing a hand against one of the double doors.

"Squall Leonhart," he replied.

The man gave a small nod, before entering inside the house and Squall followed briefly after. Once inside Squall observed as the blonde man made his way boldly around the house. "Are you the one who let me stay here?" Squall asked, he wasn't sure why. He just felt he needed to know how he had ended up here.

The blonde man let out a small laugh as he turned to Squall. "I wouldn't trust a stranger in my home, dying or not. I don't want the risk, the citizens of Balamb would be freaked if anything bad happened," he said thinking out loud his gaze seeming to distance, as if lost in thought.

"Balamb..." Squall said, suddenly realising where he was. Although he had never visited this place, he had heard of it. It was a small fishing town, a place that had no bonds with other countries. It was strange how the people in this small town were safe within a world full a hatred. Deep down inside of him, he felt glad that a place such as this still existed.

"Probably different from where you came from," the man said, turning to a window nearby and peering out at the pouring rain. His once arrogant look seemed to calm slightly in the moment of silence that followed. For a brief moment there was stillness within the silence of the room, until the blonde mans footsteps echoed loudly against the wooden floor as he walked away from the glass.

"You should get back to your room," he ordered, turning towards Squall, that arrogant look forming in his eyes once more. "I take it since you tried to escape from here, you know where it is."

Squall nodded his head silently. Although a huge part of him wanted to order the man to tell him what happened and why he was even here, a stinging pain had began to build up in the back of his mind. Making his way back up the steps, he entered the small room, which he had awoken in earlier on in the day. With exhaustion he sat on the mattress of the bed, and stared blankly out of the window, watching the raindrops make their way to the ground like dying stars.

* * *

A small knock was heard against the wooden door, echoing throughout the room. Lost in a state of the closest thing he could get to sleep at that moment in time, Squall opened his eyes slowly, a strange feeling enveloping over his body as he did. Somewhere deep down inside of him expected to see something different, he felt disappointed when he only saw that same small room surrounding him. Almost as if when he closed his eyes, when there was nothing of this town to be seen, he could almost fool himself that he was somewhere else. Perhaps wake up in the vessel he had escaped in. Wake up and aid his men back to the imperfect safety of his mind when he was being ordered into fighting a brutal battle.

It didn't matter what he wanted anymore, he was still in Balamb. Unable to find his men, or anyone that could give him a simple order. Keeping his gaze at the ceiling, he ran a hand through the damp locks of his hair, ignoring the sound of the door opening. Closing his eyes, he let out a small sigh as footsteps clicked against the wooden floor, echoing louder as the person appeared the walk closer to him. He hoped that perhaps whoever the intruder was, would leave him be as he was in no mood to be ordered around by someone he didn't know.

In the back of his mind, he was already planning his escape. He thought that perhaps he should leave after nightfall; maybe then he could take another walk around the town in search for his men, if they were even here. If not, he would find any form of transport and return back to his hometown. He froze out of his thoughts suddenly, when he felt a hand touch his head.

She quickly withdrew her hand away, as if her flesh had come in contact with a scolding temperature when she saw his eyes open promptly. His cool blue eyes locked onto her, with a stern gaze making her suddenly feel afraid of this man. A part of her wanted to flee from the room as quickly as possible as she saw his glare, yet another part of her feared looking away. Putting her hand by her side, the young woman tried to push her fears aside. She was simply trying to check his dressing, she told herself, trying to make herself feel better.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, turning on her heels to walk out of the room. The girl stopped in her tracks when she felt a hand sternly grab her wrist. Letting out a small scream at the feel of his hard grasp, she turned back to the man. His body half sat up on the bed, as he eyed her suspiciously.

Watching the girl's terrified expression, Squall suddenly felt guilty for lashing out at her. He hadn't expected it to be her in his room. The thought came to him that perhaps she would be willing to tell him more information than the man from earlier, he guessed that he had probably ruined his chances of finding out anything more from the fear visible in his eyes. Loosening his grip around her wrist, he stood from the bed slowly. "I'm not going to hurt you," he reassured.

The girl pulled her arm from the remaining grasp on her arm and tried to meet his stern look. "I don't know exactly who you are, but I hope you have the decency not to cause any trouble in Balamb. We don't have any association with the war you're fighting."

Squall nodded his head slightly, trying to show that he meant no harm. "I understand," he said quietly, "and I owe everyone here a lot for caring for me." He observed that she was the girl who had been with him earlier, taking care of him while he was unconscious. The girl's gaze softened slightly at his last statement, as she pushed a loose strand of midnight hair behind her shoulder.

"The people in Balamb don't trust outsiders," the girl stated as her gaze fell to the ground. "When they saw that you were a solider, they were dubious of whether to care for you or not, just in case it brought trouble here."

Squall stood in silence at hearing the girl speak. Although he was a little shocked at the thought that they may have just discarded him because he was a soldier, he understood their situation. He for one didn't like the idea of a small town such as this, getting involved in problems that had nothing to do with them.

The girl smiled slightly at seeing his silent posture. "Don't worry," she said looking up at the man who stood before her, "I wouldn't have let them just leave you to die."

The girl turned from the man's sombre expression to the open doorway. Closing the door off from the rest of the house, she looked back at the brunette. "He was going to go off to fight in the war like yourself once," the girl said, only to be responded by a confused look. Letting out a small sigh at how typical the situation was, she walked back towards the young man. "The guy who went out to find you in the rain, he's Seifer."

Staying silent for a moment, Squall leaned against a wall by the window, where in the distance he noticed the rain had stopped. "I thought you said that people in Balamb don't associate with war."

"Everyone except Seifer," the raven-haired girl spoke, watching as the man kept his gaze locked on the landscape beyond the window. "Something came up that made him forget the idea of fighting in the war."

Not pressing on the conversation any further, the two remained in silence for a moment. "I was told your name is Squall," the girl responded suddenly feeling uncomfortable within the stillness of the man. "Leo told me that you were a great fighter."

His distant thoughts suddenly snapped back to reality, as Squall heard the mention of the man's name. Leo. He realised that this was the name of the young injured solider they had fled with. "He's here?" The words had escaped past his lips, before he had even realised. He just felt desperate to know what happened to everyone else. At the moment in time, he felt like he had been imprisoned in a place, kept in solitude so he wouldn't be able to have any contact with them.

Squall watched as the girls eyes projected sadness within them, she didn't have to say the words, he already knew the answer. "I tried to save him," she spoke whilst hearing her voice breaking. "I tried my best, but he was too badly injured."

He felt a strange feeling within him. The girl in front of him had not even known Leo for long, yet he could see so much sadness within her eyes when talking about his death. "He was already seriously injured before we fled," Squall found himself saying. "He had little chance of surviving, with or without your help."

The girl looked up into Squall's eyes and forced a small smile. "I guess you're used to coping with death," she said quietly.

Used to coping with death? _Not at all, _Squall thought to himself as he turned his gaze back onto the dull rain clouds in the distance. "What about my other men?" he asked.

Squall watched as the girl's expression looked slightly puzzled. "There were no other men on the boat when you were found," she replied. The young woman watched as his eyes trailed towards the ground silently. "Perhaps you should get some more rest," she spoke up once again. "After being out in the rain for so long, I wouldn't want you catching a pneumonia or anything"

Giving up his feelings to find out more, Squall simply nodded his head turning back to the bed. The girl watched him with sympathy for a moment, before turning towards the door. "My name's Rinoa," she called over her shoulder as she opened the door. "And please, don't disappear like you did before. You need to recover fully before you get back to fighting again."

Closing the door behind her, Rinoa made her way down the corridor. She stopped in her tracks as she saw a blonde man stood watching her silently. He waited with his arms crossed over his chest impatiently, as she made her way towards him. "I told him," she said softly.

"How did he take it?" Seifer asked, looking down at the raven-haired girl beside him.

Rinoa shrugged slightly. "I think he must still be confused, after waking from consciousness. He didn't really seem fazed by the death of his friend."

Seifer raised an eyebrow, "Maybe they weren't friends," he said coolly. "Just make sure he recovers from his injuries and leaves. We don't need him getting involved in Balamb's problems."

Rinoa nodded her head in silent understanding. She took one last glance behind her shoulder towards the door of the room in which the injured soldier lay behind, before making her way down the stairs. Not wanting to continue the conversation any further. "I won't let him get involved," she said as Seifer followed behind her.

_Authors note: At last, this chapter is complete! It's been kind of difficult to plan, but I finally got there! Oh yeah... forgot to mention... this story is kind of set in the past, and Balamb has been altered slightly by moi. I hope everything made sense. Thank you for your reviews! You're all such nice people!_

_Okay... sorry if there are grammar and spelling mistakes in this chapter. I'm literally minutes away from leaving my house to go to school so I don't really have time. Once again, sorry and thank you for your patience._


	4. Chapter Four

Tears of Forever

Chapter Four

_Needed elsewhere_

_To remind us of the shortness of our time_

_Tears laid for them_

_Tears of love, tears of fear_

_Bury my dreams, dig up my sorrows_

**Nightwish – Angels Fall First**

For a long while she stood in silence. Alone. Being away from everyone for long enough, it almost made it seem like she could actually fool herself into thinking that there were no big issues at hand. Perhaps if she sat there long enough, she would believe it completely. She thought back to the days of her childhood where life was so much simpler. When she was a child, she was aware that there was something wrong, although she was never old enough to understand fully. Her world had always been sheltered, having others pulling a veil over her face whenever she would get close to finding out the truth. But she always knew there was something there. Something that wasn't quite right. It was strange how the bad things always seemed to lurk within the shadows, waiting until the day when they would finally jump out.

Her head was propped into her hands as she looked down at the ground far below her, a nervous feeling growing inside her. Only a few moments earlier she had seen the small group of men entering inside her home. If she listened hard enough, she could faintly hear the deep rumble of their voices from within the building. A small voice inside her was telling her to go and face the men. It was inevitable that she had to; she just felt that if she could stay out here a little longer, then maybe it would make it easier facing them. Facing _him. _

She always knew he had cared, although he didn't show it very often. A big part of her had grown to resent him, wanting to run away from this place knowing that if it weren't for _who _she was, then he wouldn't follow after her. It was that part of him that she resented. That maybe if things were different, then he would have grown to accept her. Treat her like the he used to. Like they were a family.

She swallowed hard, feeling the lump that had begun to form in her throat as she turned from the stone balcony and entered inside her small bedroom. Picking up a brush from her dresser, she ran the brush through her hair as she heard the door open behind her. She didn't have to look at him to know who it was, she could tell by the way he didn't even bother to knock. The small uncaring things he did were sometimes what upset her the most.

"Welcome back, Father," she said colourlessly, still with her back turned to him. Sometimes it was difficult to speak the word, she had to force herself to say it every time she was with him. _Father._ "Did you have a nice trip?"

There was a long silence that followed her statement, not that she really cared for an answer. Just hearing his silence, if she hadn't heard his heavy breathing she would have thought that he was no longer with her at all. Turning on her heels she faced him for the first time. His usually blank face now looking slightly pasty. "It was not a nice trip," he said barely audible. "Dollet has been attacked."

Putting down her brush, Rinoa stared at her father and for a moment she too joined his silence. "How?" she asked suddenly, seeing his traumatized reaction.

"The place was burnt to a crisp by the time we got there," he started, thinking back on the nauseating sights he had seen. "Those Galbadian Soldiers killed everyone... there's nobody left."

"And Juan?" She didn't know why she asked, she could tell by the sorrow now visible on his face what the answer was. Her father's elderly friend. Juan had taught him everything that he knew now, he was supposed to come back today with him. That was the reason her father had travelled to Dollet, but now... he was dead. Rinoa's gaze lowered to the floor, as the silence answered louder than any voice could. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I hear the injured soldier finally woke up?" he asked, looking down at his daughter, a stern look flashing in his eyes as the previous sadness in the air seemed to fade slightly as he changed the subject. "Tell me, is he one of those Galbadian soldiers?"

Rinoa studied her father suspiciously for a moment, not really sure what he was thinking at this moment in time. "I don't know," she said truthfully. She had spent her whole life in Balamb, sheltered away from any contact with another country. The thought angered her slightly as she gazed back at her father. In a situation such as this, she felt so naïve at not even being able to tell whether the soldier was Galbadian or not. _Sheltered, _she thought. The word echoing around her head as it enraged her even more. Balling her fists behind her back she saw her father nod his head silently.

"I'll go ask Seifer," he said turning on his heels and began to leave. He stopped abruptly at the doorway and looked back at his daughter. "You know that we're going to have to find someone else to help you since Juan is no longer with us."

Rinoa nodded her head, "Maybe Seifer...?"

"No," he said sharply. In all honesty he trusted Seifer to follow simple orders, but to do something as loyal as this...? Seifer was too young, he needed someone who he knew wouldn't back out of such a responsibility. Traditionally someone who wasn't a part of Balamb. Someone who was pure, who didn't carry the burden the people of Balamb were cursed with. "We'll find someone," he said, before making his way out of the bedroom.

* * *

_Trapped. _Sat on the edge of his bed, Squall gazed down at the food, which had recently been brought to him. A woman had placed it by his bed while he was asleep. He faintly remembered seeing the middle-aged woman's plump body exiting the room as he awoke. The sound of the door closing and then a click, shaking him out of his slumber. The sound of being locked inside this room. Making sure he didn't escape. Upon his earlier investigation he had found that the window had been locked shut as well. Everything locked, so he couldn't escape. The thought had come to him that perhaps he could break down the door, but what was the use? He would still be trapped within the loneliness of this town. It was a feeling he had felt ever since he had woken up in this strange place. Loneliness. Like something wasn't quite right. If he escaped he knew he would find himself once more staring out to the endless waves of the sea, looking for an answer.

His eyes gazed at the food, placed on a silver tray beside his bed. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten something, but his thoughts weren't on food at this point in time.

A small click withdrew him from his earlier thoughts as he turned to see the door slowly open. A blonde man stood in the doorway with a smug look on his face. "Leonhart," he boomed, looking down at the solider. "The Mayor of this town has come back from his travels today."

Squall looked towards Seifer, he couldn't help noticing a strange look in his eye as he began to speak once more. "He wants to meet with you," the blonde said. "Now," he ordered sounding more firm.

Standing stiffly from his position from the bed, Squall followed Seifer down the staircase and out through the glass panelled doors. He shivered slightly as the cold wind blew in his direction, and then almost stopped in his tracks as he saw a crowd of people stood outside watching him. Squall turned to Seifer who seemed to look more arrogant than he had before, if it were possible. "Move it," he said giving Squall a hard push until he came face to face with a dark haired man.

The crowd of town's people gathered together, watching eagerly as the soldier and man starred at each other for a moment. "You must be the soldier found a week ago. I must say you're a lot younger than I expected," he said coolly before holding out his hand. "You're a Galbadian Soldier?"

Squall accepted the gesture, giving the man his hand and nodded his head silently as they shook. He saw the mans face stiffen for a brief moment, before a small smile grew on his features. A smile that seemed to contrast with his serious features, making it seem almost horrifying to look at.

"Was you aware that Dollet had been attacked?" the man asked. It was a simple question, but hearing the words made Squall's blood run cold. "The place was burnt down," the man continued as his gaze was still locked on Squall's. "I had a close friend who lived there, he did a lot for Balamb and we owe him a lot, but he died because of those soldiers who killed all those innocent people."

Sometimes actions spoke louder than words, the man observed. Stood out in the cold, among the many towns people gathered around a simple action may as well have screamed out the answer he was looking for. The soldier's once stone cold eyes, which were locked onto his own gaze, slowly fell down to the ground. He knew it. Never had he wanted revenge so much in his life. His life long friend along with all of the other innocent people in the town had been killed by a group of soldiers. And stood right in front of him, one of the people who was responsible. Oh how he wanted revenge. He could feel it building up inside of him, pumping around his body in loud hard thumps.

"The name's Fury Caraway," he said through gritted teeth as he looked down at the soldier in front of him, his hands balled tightly together as an attempt to try and control the anger that was rising within his body. "I'm the Mayor of this town."

Squall nodded his head slowly, unsure of what to say. He could see the man's deadly stare, glaring at him. The anger visibly flashing in his eyes, as he introduced himself. How could he not be angry? War was a vicious thing. It lingered in the air, taking over peoples minds until they wanted nothing more than that one thing ringing through their minds. Power. The nine other soldiers with him had been taken back by the order they were given. Go to Dollet and kill everyone. There were only a handful of people in Dollet who _could _actually fight when they got there. The majority were women and children. Most of the men had been sent off to war, just like in Timber. The civil war had been getting more intense over the last few months, all because of what? The Galbadian Army wanting to rule over other countries on the same continent. The opposing side wanting their freedom. What right did they have to destroy a whole town? Of course people would be angry with him.

Squall's eyes observed the Mayor for a brief moment; he could almost feel the anger coming from inside him. _Suffocating him_. It was that point when he realised that he probably wasn't going to get the same care from the town. Why should they help him? Perhaps maybe now they would allow him to leave this town, but he very much doubted it from the look in the Mayor's eyes. _Just do it... _His dark brown eyes narrowing into slits as he stood looking rigid. Trying to hold himself back. _Finish it. _Squall knew that he would be killed.

It was then he saw the middle-aged mans eyes swiftly move away from him. Looking at something behind him. Squall looked over his shoulder to see Seifer walking closer to him. Two swords in his hands. Looking at the metallic weapons closely, he realised that one of them was his gunblade. The once shiny blade now looking a darker colour. Stained with crimson.

"It must take a lot of courage to do what you did," the Mayor said while turning his eyes back to the young solider. "I'd like to see how skilled a fighter you are."

He watched as Seifer held out Squall's blade, waiting for him to accept his offer. Slowly he held out his hand, and took the blade from his grasp, feeling that somehow the blade felt a lot heavier than he remembered. Seifer took a step back, adjusting into a stance Squall knew only too well. _A fight?_

"I trust you know Seifer? He's the best fighter we have here in Balamb," Caraway said peering at Squall through his tiny eyes. "I propose that we see just how good you really are, only a friendly fight of course."

The Mayor nodded to his blonde companion, and watched silently as he made his way slowly towards Squall who was adjusting into his fighting stance. _A friendly fight. _The words echoed through his mind, as Seifer retrieved his own gunblade and swung it in Squall's direction. _What about Dollet? _He quickly dodged out of the path of the gunblade, and struck his own blade out preventing another attack. The sound of the metal clanging together, almost shrieking at the clashing of weapons once more. _All the innocent people... dead. _

Squall took the opportunity, and brought his gunblade in Seifer's direction with haste, only to be greeted with that same sound of metal meeting metal. Again, his blade seemed to shriek. His eyes lifted to see Seifer's arrogant grin as he slashed his sword. Bringing it towards Squall again, again, again. _A whole town destroyed. _Defending one blow after another, Squall felt the gunblade seeming to get heavier in his hands after each minute. His footing becoming clumsy until he landed hard against the ground.

Seifer stood above the fallen soldier. Enjoying watching him looking physically exhausted, too weak to fight. Give up, he thought, as he edged the tip of his gunblade to Squall's neck. You can't defeat me; his mind spoke, watching the soldiers cold eyes lock onto his before falling down to the ground in exhaustion. Seifer laughed as he looked down at the fallen man before him, pressing the tip of the blade harder against the skin. It was then he saw the flash of fire in his eyes, as he grabbed his gunblade and slashed the opposing weapon away from him.

Stepping back to his feet, Squall held the blade tightly in his grip as he slashed down hard against Seifer. A shriek. Still smiling, Seifer took another blow once again knocking Squall to the ground. This time he didn't waste any time tormenting him, he realised Squall wouldn't give in that easily. He got to his feet, stumbling as he edged towards the blonde man, his vision going slightly blurry as he walked and blindly took a blow in the direction of Seifer. Once again a repeated number of blows were brought in his direction until he fell back down to the ground. A foot pushed against his chest making his back press against the stony ground.

Squall heard the sounds of footsteps approaching as he lay unable to get up from Seifer's weight pressed down hard on his chest. "You don't give up easily do you?" a voice said, which he recognised to be the Mayors. "Enough Seifer," he ordered, and the weight was lifted from Squall's chest.

The Mayor watched down as the now pale solider tried to get back up on his feet, even though it was clearly visible that he wasn't yet ready to fight. He was still suffering from his injuries, the Mayor guessed that his anger from earlier had clouded his judgement on how well the soldier would be able to fight. Yet at the same time, he watched as he struggled to keep himself in even a seating position. His eyelids continuously opening and closing and he fought with himself to keep conscious.

"I have a proposition for you," he said studying the soldier. "I think after all the battles you have been through it should be quite a simple task to do."

"What do I have to do?" Squall whispered, feeling like the world was spinning around him.

"You'll find out soon, once you're fully recovered I'll explain everything," he knew that the last part of his sentence had fallen on deaf ears, for the young soldier had already passed out.

* * *

The smoke fumes clouded the scenery as the group of men made their way through the town. Another building caught fire as it grew bigger, burning everything within its path. Among the smoke, and the crackling of the fire embers the sounds of screaming could be heard. The screaming of horrified women and children trapped inside this hell. It was a sound that ran throughout the town, sending a sick feeling in the pit of the stomach to anyone who witnessed it. A group of soldiers scolding, stabbing, mutilating the horrified people and those watching waiting for their turn to go. The once calm and tranquil town now a crimson picture of blood and corpses. _What right did they have? What right did anyone have to do such a thing?_

Opening his eyes to avoid the gruesome pictures beginning to form in his mind again. He could still hear the screaming, smell the scent of burning flesh as they made their way out of Dollet. Another mission finished. Maybe he should have stayed out on that field, or been the one who died instead of Leo. _Why the hell should he be the one who was saved?_ A small knock was heard from the door, but he chose to ignore it, for he knew whoever it was would come in anyway. Turning his head to face the wall, he felt he couldn't face anyone in this town anymore. He had killed someone they looked up to, and he defiantly knew that now everyone in the town would know what he did to Dollet. _Why didn't they kill him? _

"Squall?"

Letting out a sigh, Squall turned his head to face the owner of the female voice. Rinoa, was she here to see if it was true? To tell him what an evil bastard he was? He knew that she would probably be angry with him, yet turning to face her; he only saw that same serenity on her face. No grudge, or even any visible sign of hate.

"Are you alright?" she spoke softly, "I heard about what my father did today, it was irresponsible of him, and I'm sorry."

Looking at her features he saw sadness present within her. Why should she be apologising? _He deserved it. _"Don't worry about it," he said lifting himself up from his lying position, trying to ignore the throbbing he felt in his head. "I can handle it."

He heard Rinoa laugh quietly, as she sat down on the floor beside his bed. "I guess you can," she said smoothing imaginary creases in her long skirt. "Do you get to travel a lot... being a soldier?"

Squall nodded his head, "Sometimes." _Like going to Dollet, _he silently reminded himself. Trying to erase the thoughts he turned his gaze down to Rinoa who was smiling slightly, looking deep in thought.

"It must be nice to see lots of places you've never been to before," she said finally, "but I guess you only travel to fight." There was a silence that followed, as both of them seemed to get lost in their own thoughts. Rinoa looked up at Squall's serious expression, "Do you always have to follow orders if you're a soldier?" she asked slowly, feeling a little stupid. "Can't you turn something down if you don't want to fight in a certain place?"

Squall's seemed quite bewildered by her sudden question. _If only it were that simple. _Looking down at her now he couldn't help noticing her naivety in the subject she was bringing up. "No," he responded to her hopeful face, "when you're a soldier you have to prepare yourself to do something, even if you don't want to do it."

"Like in Dollet," she spoke, barely audible, but it was enough to make the sharp pang of guilt run through Squall's veins. "My father was quite angry when he knew that you were one of the soldiers there," she began, suddenly feeling that maybe she shouldn't have brought up the subject. "But I think he realised that he was once a soldier, and put in the same situation, he would probably have done it as well."

Rinoa stayed silent for a moment, before looking back at Squall. She knew her father had chosen the man in front of her, and she didn't know why, but she felt a little bit safer knowing that Squall was the one who could free her from this place.

_Authors note: Sorry for the taking so long to update. I try to write at least a little bit each day, and I do enjoy writing when I get the chance. Oh and don't worry if it's a little confusing at the moment. It's just me... I love to confuse my readers at first. Hehe. Things should be starting to make sense soon, just bear with me. Thank You!_


	5. Chapter Five

Tears Of Forever

Chapter Five

Set in stone the sun will come 

_And I hate the light_

_You know I hate the light_

_To me it looks so pretty burning_

**The Used- Take It Away**

The cool autumn winds blew throughout the town, shaking the tall trees which stood shedding their leaves ready for the winter months, giving them a more sinister look as the many branches cast waving shadows down on the ground. He stood under one of the trees for some time, watching as the shadows waved at regular intervals of the strong winds. It had been ten weeks since he had awoken, only to find himself kept in solitude away from the war he had been fighting in. Kept trapped away in a normal looking town, where the people didn't live in visible fear of being taken away from their families or even worse, killed. They kept their distance from the political disagreements going on within the rest of the world; it was something he simply was not used to.

During the past few weeks he had lost all hope of going back to war, of returning to the normal life he had lived before he had awoken. For the past few weeks he had kept his mind away from most things, getting better was his main priority. Although sometimes it was hard not to feel at ease in this town. He knew that he clearly didn't belong here; his views were very different to those of the people living in Balamb. But sometimes if he tried hard enough not to think of war, or what he could be doing if he were not here. Sometimes it felt right being here. It was peaceful, he felt like he was safe and away from the torment of war.

The sounds of footsteps clashing against the gravel of the ground made him look up from the dancing shadows. The man slowed his pace and nodded his head in acknowledgement as he came to a stop a few meters in front of Squall. "I've been looking for you," the Mayor stated as he studied the lone man for a moment.

Squall kept his gaze firmly on the middle-aged man. Over the last few weeks, the events of Dollet and the fight had become nothing more than a memory to both of them. He no longer felt like such a prisoner within the town, although he had noted how he was never alone for very long when outdoors, before someone would come to check what he was doing. Usually Seifer would reluctantly make short conversation with him, whilst at the same time directing him back towards the 'safety' of the town. That fact angered Squall, yet his freedom was gradually progressing as trust between the people within the town was starting to build.

"You seem to be a lot fitter than when I first met you," Caraway stated. He had not been in the town much throughout the last few weeks, it seemed that 'business' always required him visiting places outside of Balamb. Although he hated leaving the false safety, which the Balamb always seemed to give, he had his reasons for leaving. He didn't see why, he always ended up back in Dollet. Reminiscing whilst looking at the remaining buildings, as the smell of burnt corpses had gradually faded, his memories from that brutal day of seeing all the mess were still indeed very vivid.

Squall looked at the Mayor for a brief moment, wondering exactly what the man wanted from him as he very much doubted that he was just having a friendly conversation. Squall guessed that perhaps he didn't quite trust him outside the walls of the room he had been given, as much as Seifer. "I'm feeling better." He spoke dryly, not in the mood to be in the company of others.

"I've been thinking that now would be the time to start discussing that job you agreed to do," the Mayor said, seeing the young mans once stern gaze turn a little softer. "That is if you're still wanting to do a job for me. Once it's over, you can leave."

"And if I don't want to do your job for you," Squall stated harshly, eyeing the man. He couldn't help noticing that he looked as if he were challenging Squall. "If I just get up and leave myself. Then what?" As tempting as it was to do what he was told in Balamb, he knew his business was not here. This Mayor had no authority over Squall, whether they had looked after him or not.

"Then I kill you," his words came out so simple as if it were nothing; it silenced Squall for a moment, unsure of what to say. Still the Mayor's burning gaze was on him, never breaking. "You may be feeling better but you haven't fought for a long time, whereas there are people here who train everyday. Not even a skilled fighter like you could handle a battle without your weapon."

Letting out a small sigh, Squall turned away from Caraway's harsh gaze and looked out on the horizon where he could just see the endless lapping of the waves in the green sea. For a brief moment, he felt tranquil, it was one of them moments where he knew that maybe he would hate to leave this place. Ignoring the thought, he turned back to the Mayor. "Tell me what to do."

"Not yet," the Mayor spoke, seeing an aggravated look in the soldier's eyes. "I'll make sure you understand soon enough. I'd like to show you something first."

Squall obeyed silently as the Mayor led him down a small path towards the edge of the town. It was a route he had seen a number of times on his short walks around Balamb, yet he had never seen what was beyond the path. Never even had the chance to wonder, overgrown trees hid the pathway entrance as if it hadn't been used for a long time. Pushing aside the branches blocking the pathway, the two men made their way down the stony path.

Making the short walk, Squall saw a small building in front of them. It was an old looking building made from red wood, at the entrance there were ancient symbols and calligraphy engraved in gold paint, the gold now scratched and worn showing the buildings age. The entrance had been padlocked closed, which Caraway opened with a key he brought out of his jacket pocket.

"I suppose you don't really see these Shrines where you live," Caraway said whilst dealing with the lock. He looked up briefly to see the young man shake his head slowly, his eyes seeming to be transfixed on the Shrine's architecture. Pushing hard on the tall door, the entrance creaked open revealing the religious artifacts inside.

Squall watched as the door opened, and reluctantly followed as the Mayor went inside the Shrine. As soon as he stepped inside he couldn't help looking in awe at the many statues inside which occupied the inner part of the Shrine. A cold chill ran down his spine, and for a moment he was sure that there was someone stood beside him, their cold fingers resting gently on his back. It seemed in that moment in time that there were more than two people stood within the ancient Shrine. Turning to look behind his shoulder, as expected Squall saw nothing but the open doorway leading back to the outside. There never had been anyone behind him, only his paranoia making him believe there was. _Don't be stupid, _he told himself.

"This is the only Shrine left in Balamb," Caraway started, "There used to be at least two Shrines here at one time, but the other got destroyed during a battle many years ago. There used to be a Shrine on every continent, until the end of the Sorceress war over a hundred years ago. Do you have any knowledge of the Sorceress War?"

Squall nodded his head slowly, feeling a little uncomfortable in the current place they were inside. There was something about this place; it really made him feel like he didn't belong. "A Sorceress named Ultimecia tried to achieve time compression. She was allegedly defeated by a group of the strongest men that were around at the time," Squall said, thinking back to what he had been taught. "The story is nothing but a myth, along with all of the other stories to go with the Shrines."

The Mayor smiled slightly, "I guess religion is all a bit of a myth at times," he said softly "What's the point in believing something you can't prove?" The Mayor eyed the young for a moment before turning to one of the many statues around the world.

Squall observed a female statue, delicately made from gold, one of her golden arms stretched outwards towards the center of the room, almost as if reaching out for him. He stayed still for a moment, feeling unable to move as if under a spell from her slender fingers.

"Her name is Shiva."

Squall turned around to see the Mayor stood behind him, also taking in the view of the mysterious woman. "It is said that the Sorceress could master the art of controlling the elements. Each element has a guardian force protecting it, along with protecting the owner of the power. Guardian forces were allegedly controlled by the Sorceress, that was until she was killed," he stopped for a moment, as if reflecting back on the days that he wouldn't have been alive to see. "Without a Sorceress who can master the elements, there are no guardian forces."

"That's the belief," Squall said, matter of fact. He never really had believed in all the myths he had heard as a child, he didn't see why. His opinion of whether or not something was true in the past had no relevance to life of today. Time was changing, nothing of that sort happened anymore. "What exactly did you bring me here for?" Squall asked, wondering what the point of all this was.

"Many of the elderly people in Balamb still keep their faith," he spoke softly. "Whilst all the rest of the Shrines were destroyed, Balamb seemed to be the only place that wanted to remember a part of the past, not rule it off as if it had never happened."

"It would have been a mistake to put a Sorceress in control," Squall spoke plainly "perhaps people just wanted to forget about their mistakes and move on."

"Maybe so," Caraway said in thought "but legend says here in Balamb is where Ultimicia died. I'm sure in time people will forget, but at the moment Balamb wants to keep the memory, whether a myth or not." Taking slow steps, he walked around the small Shrine, admiring all of the elegant statues around the room. "I'm not here to make judgments on your beliefs, I just wanted to make you aware of the peoples view on such matters in Balamb," turning back to the entrance of the Shrine, Caraway gestured for Squall to follow. "Lets go back into Balamb."

Following Caraway out of the Shrine, Squall couldn't help feeling alone. It felt like someone had been stood next to him when he had been inside the Shrine, the presence making the air thick, almost suffocating. It was as if someone had forced him to stare into the eyes of that golden statue and feel her power. Make him believe her power, as her long slender fingers stretched out towards him. The presence had seemed to disintegrate as soon as his body had left the aged walls of the shrine. Now he was alone with Caraway and the rest of Balamb. And he truly believed the latter.

He saw Caraway's eyes watching him, a silent knowing look within them. As if they knew what he was thinking, and had sensed the same presence he had. For a moment, they both stared at each other, then without word they walked away from the Shrine. It was a moment for Squall, which was amazing to see such a building that no longer exists on every other continent, and terrifying at the same time. Just like everything else in this town, it would be something he would keep locked away and never talk about if he ever left.

As Squall followed Caraway's lead his mind went back to his previous thoughts. _If _he ever left. At one stage he wanted nothing more than to leave this place, to get back to his duty and fight the war like he was supposed to. Now he only wanted to run away from this place, to get away from the people and the strange presences that lurked around. His thoughts did often drift back to war, but he already knew inside that his days of being a soldier were over.

He followed silently until they reached beyond the overgrown trees, and felt a little bit of comfort envelope his body as he saw the familiar surroundings of Balamb. It was then that the Mayor stopped briefly and looked back at Squall.

"I have work to do, you can do as you wish in Balamb for the rest of the day. Just don't do anything stupid," Caraway said gravely, before walking away once again leaving Squall alone, the voices of his inner demons running around his mind.

In the distance, Squall saw the features of a raven-haired girl stood watching him suspiciously. She was leaning against the wall of a building, watching a group of children playing within the cool wind. It was then he saw her say something to the children, waving goodbye to them, before making her way over to Squall. She smiled as she approached the stiff looking man, something which she had noticed since he had started to get more active within the town. She couldn't help but watch him many times walking on his own around the town, always deep in thought. Sometimes she wished that she could know what he was thinking. He never had made much conversation with the people in Balamb; she guessed he just felt uncomfortable in a town that was so unfamiliar to his usual lifestyle. A lifestyle she would never have.

"It's nice to see my father taking a liking to you," she said light heartedly. "When he takes walks with someone, it usually means he likes them."

He watched as she laughed before him, her smile seeming to make the previous experience in the Shrine nothing more than a faded nightmare. The kind that seemed to be the most terrifying in the dream, yet once you awoke your logic made you realize that there never was anything to fear. He shook the thought away, and thought that he was just being stupid. "Whatever," he responded coolly.

Rinoa shook her head, "I'm glad though," she said softly. "He trusts you, you know?"

Squall looked at the young woman in front of him, he looked into her brown eyes that held so much emotion yet at present seemed so serious at the same time. "Wasn't I the one who killed his friend?" Squall responded. He felt confused at times, why would anybody want help from the person who killed a close friend? He guessed he would never know. Some things in life Squall never really wanted to find out, and this was one of them. He didn't want to be in the same situation.

"Maybe so," she spoke softly, barely inaudible "but we all make mistakes, don't we?"

Not wanting to continue the conversation any further, Squall nodded his head "Maybe," he said. There was a moment of silence that passed between the two, the kind of silence that always seemed to pass whenever the conversation of war was brought up when Squall was in earshot. He had noticed that for a town that tried to keep away from the troubles of war, a lot of people knew what was happening. It was as if they were keeping him away from it all, hiding things from him. He wandered if they knew of something that had happened since he had last been fighting. Perhaps there were people searching for him?

She stood gazing up at him for a brief moment, seeing his blue eyes look distant, she realised that he was deep in his thoughts again. For that moment, she stood silently, secretly wondering what he was thinking like she often did. Her thoughts were distracted when her previous suspicions came back to her. "What were you and my father doing?" she asked, seeing his eyes focus back on her again.

"He took me to the Shrine," Squall said quietly.

A look of shock flashed through Rinoa's eyes as the words escaped Squall mouth. "He did?" she found herself saying. A nod from Squall's direction gave her the answer. "I've never been to the Shrine before, he _really_ must trust you," she said in thought. Noticing Squall's confused face, she traced imaginary circles on the floor with her foot suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "The Shrine is sacred, my Father doesn't let just anyone walk into it," she said, trying to explain herself "I'll be able to go inside the Shrine sometime soon, I just have to wait my time."

Squall kept his eyes on Rinoa, as her once happy features turned silently serious. "A Shrine is for worship," he said. Although he didn't know why, he suddenly felt the need to make her feel better. It usually didn't bother him what other people felt, but today, he couldn't stand to see the serious and hurt look on the raven-haired girls face. "You should be able to go in whenever you want."

"You think?" Rinoa asked. She watched as Squall gave a nod, and she couldn't help the small smile form on her face. A smile that graced her features in Squall's eyes, and he couldn't help the thought reach his mind. She shrugged slightly, returning back to a more playful tone, "That place always freaked me out anyway, I'd rather leave it to the older people who it means something to."

A cold wind blew by, sending shivers running through her body. She turned to the darkening sky, looking at the thickening rain clouds in the distance, then glanced back at Squall. "It looks like it's going to rain," she said crossing her arms tightly over her chest, in an attempt to keep herself warm.

"Maybe we should get back inside," Squall said, noticing the young girl in front of him shivering from the cold. She nodded her head silently, and Squall turned in the direction back to his residence.

Rinoa began to follow Squall, when she suddenly felt unable to continue from a growing curiosity. She stopped in her tracks and looked back over her shoulder to the path that Squall had walked out of only moments earlier with her father. The many trees surrounding the path blocked most of her view, making it difficult to see what was beyond the crooked branches that cast crawling shadows dancing on the ground. She didn't know why, but she felt like she was being watched by something hidden deep within the hidden pathway. Waiting for the right moment to expose itself to her. She shuddered at the childish fears that had begun to play on her mind and turned her head away, quickly making her way back to the security of Squall. Just recently she had begun to fear her own shadow, yet whenever she was around this stranger, he gave her a sense of comfort. And that was all she needed at this moment in time. Comfort.

_Authors note: Yeah, it sucks. It seems to be taking me so much longer to write these chapters recently, I always lose my inspiration and get stuck. Oh yeah, sorry if this chapter was a little confusing, I like to confuse my readers, so if you're a little confused at the storyline, it's a good thing. Knowing my luck it won't be confusing at all lol. Anyway, thank you for all the encouraging reviews! You're all such nice people! Thankies! _


	6. Chapter Six

Tears Of Forever

Chapter Six

_We carry on our backs the burden time always reveals_

_In the lonely night of morning_

_In the wound that would not heal_

_It's the bitter taste of losing everything _

_I've held so dear_

**Sarah McLachlan- Fallen**

It felt strange. Almost as if he were a child looking at the world in an innocent frame of mind again, then suddenly realizing that the world wasn't as innocent as it seemed. Only a short time ago in the past, he would have fought for a living, it felt strange thinking back to those days, for the days of war felt like eons ago. Yet here he was again, with his gunblade in hand, feeling the metallic blade in his grip as he blocked an oncoming attack. Of course there had been the incident when he had first awoken in Balamb, his first meeting with the Mayor was certainly not one of his fondest memories, in fact even now he hated to think about it. It was one of them moments he kept locked away at the back of his mind.

He watched as Seifer adjusted his stance and then approached towards Squall once more. It was the first time he had been allowed to train, _asked _if he wanted to practice training even. It was less than an hour ago Seifer had approached Squall as he sat alone in his room, not really seeing the point of walking around the town. He spent everyday walking around, not quite in boredom. He liked to think that boredom led him to his usual route throughout the whole of the small town, however his mind was too lost within his own thoughts to take in any of the scenery around him. Instead of getting lost in his usual thoughts, today he had decided he would stay inside, feeling unable to face the rest of the town's community. It had been then that Seifer had suggested training. His initial instinct was to say no, he knew what Balamb thought of violence, and even training with Seifer didn't seem appropriate in such a tranquil town. Yet he found himself accepting Seifer's offer when his mind was trying to think of an excuse. He didn't know why, something about it just felt right. He guessed the reason was because it was something for his mind to concentrate on other than his inner demons.

The adrenaline rush forced the blood to pump around his body in violent hard booms from behind his ears, as he went for another attack towards Seifer, trying to ignore his heavy breathing. There was some satisfaction that he got out of fighting which he usually didn't get, however today he felt like he had proved something to himself. That even after everything that had happened to his mind he was still able to fight. A part of him had missed the violence, which only showed as the _training _seemed to progress into more of a battle. His noticed that Seifer still wore his arrogant grin as Squall began sending harder blows in his direction with his gunblade.

It all seemed so easy for Seifer, he didn't have all of the experience Squall did, but it was evident that Squall hadn't fought in such a long time. He had decided to take Squall to a field on the outskirts of Balamb, not wanting to disturb any of the town's people. He could see Squall was tiring, no longer fighting with the same strength they started with, which was understandable in Seifer's view. They had been fighting for almost an hour, and Squall hadn't had any training for almost three months. Whereas Seifer trained everyday, he had found himself training harder ever since their last _battle _when Caraway had returned with the news from Dollet. He had trained hard, in order to prove something to Balamb, and to himself. He had given up on his dream of becoming a soldier long ago; he just needed to prove to himself that he was better than Squall. Better than any _soldier. _He didn't need to fight a war to prove his strength.

Blocking the oncoming blows from the gunblade, Seifer caught glance of something approaching them. _Someone. _He felt that now was the time to stop playing with Squall, he had only been taunting him, seeing how well he fought and letting Squall lead the battle whilst at the same time savoring his energy for when he really needed it. He blocked one more blow, and then adjusted his gunblade quickly in his hands before quickly guiding the blade in Squall's direction.

He could see that the blow had caught Squall off guard as he lost his footing and hit the ground. Smiling slightly at the current situation, Seifer pointed the tip of the gunblade towards Squall's upper body. "I think we'll stop for the day now," he spoke calmly, before turning his direction towards the person approaching. Her gaze looked slightly worried as she looked at the fallen soldier, then looked up towards Seifer.

"Just a little bit of training," Seifer said walking away from Squall. He could still see that look of worry still visible in her eyes, and couldn't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy within him. "He's fine, aren't you Squall?"

Seifer turned his direction to Squall who was now slowly getting back onto his feet, and answered with a small nod. He really was fine, apart from the wave of exhaustion that had just come over him. Squall guessed that it was because he hadn't had that kind of training in a long time, he hadn't had _any _training in such a long time. He looked up to see Seifer stood beside the raven-haired girl who was studying him silently.

"Are you sure you're all right to fight?" she asked, suddenly feeling a responsibility towards Squall. She had taken care of him while he was unconscious and even a short time after he had awoken, and she certainly didn't want to have to take care of any injuries due to Seifer's arrogance. She knew that he probably had envy towards this soldier, she could see by the look in his eye, that look that turned cold whenever his name was mentioned.

"I'm fine," Squall stated looking back at the two people stood before him, before walking away.

Rinoa watched as he left the field, and walked in the direction back towards Balamb. She watched until he had disappeared behind a tree, and then found herself deep in worry as she studied the empty air where he once walked. From behind her she could hear the steady breathing of Seifer, as he stood silently watching her, his eyes seeming to burn through her. She could feel him watching her, and guessed he probably knew _who _she was thinking about.

"I think you're being too hard on him, Seifer," she spoke after a moment of silence, turning over her shoulder to face the blonde man.

"Too hard?" Seifer spoke, he felt he could have laughed at that moment had she not looked so serious. "What do you think he did everyday before he ended up in Balamb, sit around taking it easy? He's a soldier Rinoa, the sooner he gets back into fighting the better."

Rinoa turned her eyes back to where Squall had exited, "I guess you're right," she said quietly, "but sometimes I think he feels lost… like he doesn't belong."

"He _is _lost, and he certainly doesn't belong here," he placed a hand on Rinoa's shoulder, and turned her so she faced him, no longer wanting to talk to the back of her. "He woke up here one day on his own, he's not exactly going to be the happiest person in the world is he?"

"He probably misses his family and friends, I guess," Rinoa said looking up at Seifer, feeling the need to search for his reassurance.

"Yeah," Seifer said, placing his other hand on her right shoulder "You're probably right. He won't be here much longer anyway." Then he suddenly felt like an idiot at his last words, as he felt Rinoa tense up beneath his hands, realizing what his last statement had led her thoughts to. "Sorry," he said quietly.

Rinoa smiled silently, forgiving his comments. "It's true though, isn't it? He'll be here until I leave."

This time it was Seifer's turn to almost shudder at the thought, _at her words_. Turning his gaze back to Rinoa he gave her shoulders a comforting squeeze. "That's your father's decision, he hasn't made anything final yet."

Hearing Seifer's words only brought a sick feeling at the bottom of her stomach. She had to force a smile towards Seifer, make him believe that his words were of some comfort to her, as she didn't want to continue the conversation any further. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Everything will be fine anyway." And she knew that the latter was a lie.

Seifer nodded his head silently, and she could see that he didn't believe her either, but he never questioned it any further. And for that she was grateful. "Even if Squall is used to the strenuous training, promise me you won't be too hard on him?"

Letting out a small sigh, Seifer looked at Rinoa's pleading face. He nodded. "Fine," he said quietly, giving in to her look, "I'll be a little easier on him until he's better."

Rinoa smiled, raising her hands to entwine with Seifer's, which were still placed firmly on her shoulders. "Thank you," she said softly, suddenly feeling a little better in knowing that Seifer wasn't going to make Squall's time in Balamb hell. She could see the reluctance in his eyes, and she knew he always loved to train with another person of his own strength.

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling vulnerable like she often did inside Balamb. Placing her head against Seifer's chest as she felt Seifer's arms wrap loosely around her as she tried to find some comfort in the embrace. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to feel some security, but she just felt empty. It was then she felt alone. Even within the embrace of Seifer. She was alone.

* * *

It was late afternoon when he made his way down towards the harbour. His body had begun to ache during the walk back to Balamb, and the exhaustion he felt earlier still had not ceased; yet his mind wasn't ready to go back. He hated the small room he stayed in, just four simple walls towering over him. It made him feel so claustrophobic, so trapped, he guessed it reflected how he sometimes felt in Balamb. Trapped.

There was something about the harbour that always seemed to put his mind at ease. Sometimes he would find himself standing there watching the endless ocean, perhaps looking for any signs of life that were not related to Balamb, like a boat in the distance. Nothing ever came.

If he stayed there long enough he sometimes found himself believing that he would be taken away from this town. It was the sensation someone gets when they stare at flowing water for long enough, the sensation like you are moving somewhere, but in reality you know you're not. It's simply the mind playing tricks on you.

Walking slowly towards the end of the harbour he could hear the sound of machinery beside him. On most days fishermen went out to see, to get fish back to sell in the town. He had seen many rusty and torn boats kept on shore where some of the town's men would work on rebuilding them. Just like everything else in the town, he had noticed how they always seem to work on the past. Some of the boats looked like they would never be able to go into water again without sinking, yet he would see the same men working on them each day. They were slowly repaired, but he guessed that eventually they would be complete. In a war it was no use spending time to fix equipment that was almost certain never to work again, but this was a normal town. A town where people didn't rush their work, and it pleased him that he had been able to see such a place.

Squall stopped in his tracks as something caught his eye. His first thought was that he had seen wrong, and his mind was simply playing tricks on him. There was a small vessel stood among the damaged boats, cracked in two with large chunks of the metal shell of the boat missing. He turned towards the green sea beside him for a moment in thought, _there was no possible way- _he looked back to reveal the same sight he had seen before. A small symbol, half of which had been damaged, on the side of the boat. It was only a small symbol, but he saw that it clearly was what he had suspected. He knew that emblem perfectly well, for he had worn it on his own uniform during every battle in the war. It was the emblem that every Galbadian soldier wore.

Walking once more, he approached the boat until he was right next to it and couldn't help but stare in awe. As much as his mind told him it wasn't possible, this was the boat he had escaped in that day on the battlefield. He ran his finger along the jagged edge of the boat, the disfigured vessel that had once been his savior to freedom.

"No way," he found himself whisper. Stood still, gaping at the broken war vessel. It seemed impossible that he had arrived here in the damaged boat that lay like a lifeless corpse in front of him. Impossible- but he had no recollection of how he got here any other way.

He observed the boat for a long time, running through the events that had happened that evening when his crew had escaped. The scene unfolded like a movie strip in front of him, he remembered Leo was injured; Zell, Irvine and Nida had been there too. Sailing aimlessly, not knowing where they were to end up or if they were even going to survive. The memory flashed through his mind many times in that moment, yet he had no recollection of the rest of the trip. It was as if it had been erased away from his mind.

Letting out a sigh he ran his hand over the body of the vessel once more, studying the fractured floor of the boat where his crew had once been. His eyes stopped on the splintered surface of the boat, on a dark red stain clinging to the wood. He guessed that it was the blood that had come from Leo as he had lay injured.

"_Leo told me that you were a great fighter." _

He couldn't help the voice entering inside his mind. Although it seemed like eons ago, he still remembered his conversation with Rinoa that day. That was the day when he had found out he was alone, but at least then he had hoped to escape from Balamb and return to the war he had been fighting in.

"_What about my other men?"_

"… _There were no other men on the boat when you were found…"_

It seemed as though his memories of his crew had faded during the last few weeks, but now he was here, confronted by the boat before him. It felt as though he had been living a different life and had just found something that gave some evidence of the life he had once led. Like rummaging through the attic and finding a box of objects from previous owners of a house. He thought that it should give him some comfort at seeing the boat, but it just made him wish he had never come here.

The thought made bile rise to the back of his throat, he had to turn away, no longer able to look at the boat. Squall looked out to the sea once more, observing the crawling waves stretching towards him, and then did what his mind was screaming at him to do. He walked away.

His feet began moving in slow short steps at first, feeling uncomfortable and weak in the previous encounter until he saw a clearer view of the rest of Balamb, and his feet began carrying him faster until he was almost running. And he truly did have to try not to run. He felt as though he were a child running down a dark corridor in order to reach a light room, afraid to look back just incase a monster was going to jump out the darkness and go after him.

Once back into the familiar surroundings of Balamb, he found himself peering over his shoulder to look back at the place that had once made him feel calm. Now he only felt that same sick feeling in his stomach as he saw the damaged boats lined up, ready to be repaired. He turned back towards the rest of Balamb, only to see Rinoa making her way towards him.

"My father wants to speak to you," she said, and he noticed the empty tone in her voice as she spoke with her eyes fixed on the ground. Something that he thought was odd of Rinoa. "He said to go find him as soon as possible, he'll be at home."

Squall stood still for a moment, the earlier events now only seeming to be a memory as the fear had subsided. Now he only saw Rinoa. "You okay?" he found himself asking. Sometimes he worried about the raven-haired girl that stood in front of him. He saw that she was often a carefree person, yet every so often he would catch a glimpse of something deeper inside her. Like he could feel her emptiness inside of him, and that was the part that worried him. He hardly knew her, but at times when she was around he felt a wave of emotion, which seemed to be emanating from her, as if her eyes were sending silent waves through his body.

"I'm fine," she said softly, and that was when the tears she had been fighting back for so long escaped from her eyes. She looked back down to the ground as the hot tears mixed with the coolness of her skin from the weather. "You should go see my father now."

It felt like a dam had been broken as the tears started to fall, even as she tried her hardest to stop them. She stood there feeling helpless, as she wept in front of the young soldier, a wailing noise coming from her throat as she felt a strong hand reach for her arm.

"Don't," she whispered, breaking free from his grip. "Please… just go to my father."

Feeling her arm being pulled from his grip, he watched silently as she ran away deeper into the town, leaving him wondering what was wrong. For the first time since he had arrived at Balamb, Squall felt as though he was jealous of Rinoa. Why couldn't he run away like she had just done? Why couldn't he let go?

_Authors note: Yeah, I had a wave of inspiration and everything that was in this chapter was going to be the introduction. I just wrote in a lot more detail than I initially thought I would, but oh wells, it means I'll have to wait until next chapter. Hope you enjoy! Thanks._


	7. Chapter Seven

Tears Of Forever 

Chapter Seven

I won't try 

_And every time I tell that lie,_

_I live without guilt_

_And I won't cry_

_And I hope you love your life_

_And live with your guilt_

Jack Off Jill – Cinnamon Spider 

After everything that had happened to him in his life, he still felt like being in Balamb was all a dream. It could not be a reality in Squall's mind. He spent his whole life training to be a soldier; it had been the only thing he thought he was good at. The only thing that he had felt he wanted was to fight, being at Balamb had seemed to cloud his mind. Making him feel like he was trapped inside a strange world, with no way of getting back to the life he once lived. On numerous occasions he had awoken expecting to be in his base camp back in the war he had fled from, only to find he was trapped inside his small room.

Pressing his head against the cool glass of the window, Squall gazed out at the town below lit up from the moonlight. The nights were always the worst. His dreams had begun to make everything worse. They were always full of violence, and the many corpses that had lay scattered on the ground back in Dollet when it had been burnt down. Somewhere in the midst of all the violence of his dreams, he would see Rinoa. Usually it was just her face visible in his mind, but it was not something that he enjoyed. She always looked scared in his dreams; a frantic and terrified look always seemed to be staring back at him. Before he could ever get a chance to act upon her gaze he always woke up, feeling lost and confused. Most of the time he tried to avoid sleep.

He thought back to that day almost a week ago, Rinoa had cried in front of him. He hadn't seen much of her since; he had a strange feeling that perhaps she was avoiding him. In any case, it had made him worry for her. He had stood there in silence watching her run away, and even after, just stood there wondering what had happened, he had almost forgotten to see Caraway. It hadn't been until Seifer approached him that he actually remembered what he was supposed to be doing.

It seemed that fate, in his opinion, was a fickle thing. Making events happen all at the same time, confusing everything together until everything felt the same; all confusing, nothing holding an answer. He hadn't had chance to speak to Rinoa about the boat and how he actually survived. He needed to know what had happened while he was unconscious.

Then there was Caraway; he could still remember the short conversation between the two as he went to visit him that day. The Mayor had seemed reluctant to speak to him in any depth of Squall's job that he had agreed to do almost three months ago after battling with Seifer.

"_I hope you still remember that little debt you owe me, after killing an old friend of mine," _Caraway had stated bluntly. His tone of voice held no emotion, though it made Squall feel very uncomfortable in his presence so he simply nodded his head silently.

"In Balamb we have a festival that takes place every couple of years, it's a tradition the people of Balamb take very seriously. I hope you understand that I'm asking you to do something very honorable, people in Balamb might start to respect you almost."

"_I would respect it, if you told me what I had to do," _Squall had stated, imitating Caraway's emotionless tone. He knew that Caraway was testing him; he could tell by the way he was looking at him, and this time Squall wasn't going to back down.

Caraway gave a small solemn nod of his head. _"Rinoa is a very special girl, she is highly respected in Balamb. People look up to her, and like myself, don't want to see her get hurt. You understand?" _He paused a moment, Squall's silence telling him that he should continue. _"She's coming up to an important part in her life, but to reach that part she needs guidance and protection, and that is what I would like you to give her."_

Squall stood silent for a moment, wondering exactly what the Mayor meant by his statement. He had expected an errand to be done, something torturous to himself by the way Caraway had always looked at him with his cold gaze. He truly thought that the Mayor didn't like him, but asking him to guide and protect his daughter? Squall was shocked. _"How am I supposed to guide her?"_

"_You'll know when it happens. You must understand that this isn't as easy as it sounds. You may end up doing some things that your mind is telling you is wrong, in that situation I am advising you to ignore your mind and do what is right," _Caraway paused, seeing that his words had only confused the soldier. _"Everything will be explained when the time comes, I just thought I'd inform you. Remember what I said. You may leave now."_

It had been since that moment that Squall had felt that he no longer had any control over his life. It had confused him and disturbed him at the same time, making him feel that perhaps Rinoa was not safe in Balamb. Perhaps Balamb was not as safe as he first thought? Turning away from the window Squall made his way back to his bed and tried to think about anything but his visit with Caraway. He knew that his thoughts would end up going back to Caraway's words, for he had been trying not to think about it over the last week.

Eventually morning came, he watched the sun rise as he lay on his bed and heard the first people beginning to get ready for a day of work. He turned over in his bed to face the wall, feeling the need to shut his eyes as to block out the day. He wasn't sure how long he lay there, perhaps he even dozed off for a while, but he remembered waking up that day. It was the voices that led him out of what form of light sleep he was in. He could hear shouting from somewhere within the large house, and he knew who the voice belonged to. Rinoa.

At first he just ignored it, then he thought he heard his name mentioned. Opening his eyes he made his way across the room and opened the door slightly. The voices were louder now; he could hear the low rumble of Caraway's voice. It seemed that Rinoa was the only one who was shouting.

"You know that you have no choice in this"

"Why did you have to get _him _involved though? You know that you should be the one to do it."

Opening the door, Squall stepped out into the corridor and looked down over the banister to see Rinoa and Caraway stood in the doorway of the house. The Mayor looked slightly hurt by Rinoa's last words. It was an emotion Squall had never seen in Caraway before. It looked odd compared to his usual solemn look.

"You know I would never be able to do that to you…" his gaze fell onto the ground.

"So you get someone to do your dirty work for you like always," Rinoa said, her voice growing quieter now.

There was silence for a long time, Squall thought that they had probably known he was watching them and stopped talking, yet no one looked at him. They just stood silent. Finally Caraway said something, his breath muttered it so quiet that Squall wouldn't have even realized that he had spoken had he not seen Rinoa's reaction. She stepped back as if in shock, then without a word left the house, slamming the door behind her, leaving Caraway alone.

It was then that Caraway turned around. His gazed looked up to where Squall stood, it was that same emotionless face again, the hurt expression had disappeared. He stopped still for a moment, before turning and walking away, ignoring Squall.

Unsure of what to do, Squall stood for a moment longer before making up his mind. He made his way down the steps and out through the front door of the house. The air was cold as wind blew through the brunette bangs of hair. He ignored it and made his way to a low wall where he saw Rinoa sat. Her raven hair blew in her face, making it hard for him to see her features. As he approached closer to her, she turned to him and smiled. He could see that it was a forced smile.

Standing in front of her he tried to find something to say to her. After a moments thought, he simply sat beside her on the wall, not saying a word. It felt better that way at the moment. They sat there for a long time; once or twice Rinoa glanced over to Squall's direction and gave a quick smile before returning her gaze the opposite way, returning to her thoughts.

It was sometime later that Rinoa finally broke the silence, feeling better after the argument from earlier. "Do you ever feel like you're trapped in here?" she asked, feeling quite embarrassed at the random question.

Squall looked at her. _Almost everyday, _he thought to himself. The words almost slipped out of his mouth. "I guess I do sometimes," he said, trying to be careful with his answer. He wasn't sure as to why Rinoa was asking him such things. "It's a very different place from what I'm used to."

"I guess it is…" Rinoa said, slipping back into her thoughts. She seemed to be doing that a lot recently, slipping into deep thoughts, even when she was with people. She often thought about how things were when she was a child, before her mother died. Things seemed to be so much simpler then. He father even spent time around her back then.

She turned to Squall, sensing him looking at her. "What's the matter?" she asked, seeing a strange look in his eyes.

As soon as the question was asked, Squall looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment. He couldn't help the itching question that had been building up inside of him. He had been planning to ask her, but he didn't know if he dared. Turning to face her once more, he saw the concerned look on her features. "It's nothing really," he started, running a hand through his hair. "I saw my boat yesterday."

Rinoa gave Squall a confused glance; he took the opportunity to continue. "The boat I came here on, I saw it in the harbor yesterday."

"Oh," Rinoa said looking away. "A local sailor said he was going to repair it, he said he hadn't seen a ship so well equipped before. He wasn't going to waste it."

"It looked in pretty bad shape," Squall responded, thinking back to the previous day at seeing its damaged body in the harbor, stationary like a lifeless corpse. He stayed silent for a moment, before turning to face Rinoa once more. "You've never told me what happened when you found me"

He saw Rinoa turn her head away. "The boat was in two pieces when I found it, it seems almost impossible for me to have survived. I had four other men with me," he stopped for a moment, feeling his emotions rising. "Why are they not here with me?"

Rinoa suddenly grew very silent. Squall could see that she looked very uncomfortable, but he just needed to know. He watched as she let out a small sigh. "You really want to know?"

Seeing him nod his head, she slid herself off the low wall. "Not here," she said, taking hold of his arm. "I know a place, it's only about ten minutes away from here. It'll help you understand."

She led him through the town of Balamb, and out into a large forest he had never been in before. The walk was silent, neither sure what could be said in the current mood. It was almost midday now; she eventually led Squall out of the forest and into a vast plain of grass. She stopped in the distance to where Squall could just see a sandy beach next to the sea. "Over there," she said, taking a brisk walk once more. Squall followed.

Eventually they made their way onto a small beach. Rinoa led him to a slope of rocks, which went down onto the beach. "I always used to come here to think," she said stepping on a small rock. "I was coming down here when I saw your boat washed up on the sea. I didn't think that there was anyone in the boat at first. In times of war a lot of boats sink, sometimes parts of the boats have ended up on this beach, but this time the whole boat was virtually washed up here, in parts of course, which is why I didn't think that there would be anyone inside." Rinoa stopped a moment, thinking back to the day she found Squall.

"I saw an arm from underneath a large part of the boat, but I can't remember who it was. I think it was your friend Leo. I lifted up the part of the boat and saw both of you; there was no one else. I'm sorry, I don't know what happened to your other men. You were virtually dead when I found you, it took all of my strength to help you. I should have gone back to Balamb to get help, but I was too scared to leave both of you, I didn't want either of you to die."

"What happened to Leo?" Squall asked, picturing the scene in his mind. It seemed almost impossible to have happened on the peaceful looking beach he was looking at.

"I was able to help him regain consciousness, he was awake for about half an hour," she started, trying to fight back the lump that was forming in her throat. "He told me to help you and not to bother about him. He really looked up to you, Squall. I thought he was going to survive, he was telling me about how you fought together with him in the war, and helped him when he was injured. He told me a lot of things about the war, and then he just stopped talking."

Squall watched as the tears glistened on Rinoa's cheeks as she told the story. He felt helpless, for Leo and Rinoa.

"He never woke up, I tried over and over again to bring him back…" hanging her head down, she cried softly as she felt a hand touch her arm. She felt comfort. Her mind screamed for her to tell him everything, but she knew that there were some things she would never be able to tell him. She leaned her head on his chest as she felt his arms envelope her. He held her until her tears ceased and she looked up at him once more.

"It's forbidden to bury an outsiders body in the grounds of Balamb unless they are respected. I demanded that he was buried there, but they wouldn't allow it," she looked out to the endless sea before them. "I decided that he should be buried here, it's a calm place, there's no one here to disturb you."

"He's buried here?"

Rinoa nodded her head, "Do you want to visit him?" she asked " I know it's late, but maybe you can tell him that you survived, and you're still here."

Squall nodded his head, feeling slightly shocked from everything she had said to him. He followed as she led him further down the beach where in the sand he saw a cross, marking out a grave. He felt awkward staring down at it. Buried underground before him was the only thing of his life before Balamb. The life where he was a soldier. Now he didn't know what he was. It seemed surreal looking down at the grave, and he could easily lie to himself by thinking that this grave was for someone else.

Behind him he could feel Rinoa's presence stood patiently. A huge part of him wanted to thank her, she seemed to be the only person in this town who had ever shown respect for him. He felt responsible for Rinoa, he owed her everything. She had allowed him to see what remained of Leo, if not in physical form. He felt grief within him, something he had never felt before. Grief for the only soldier who washed up here with him, and for those who never could come.

"I'm still here."

Authors note: wow it sucks! I've had a lot of bad writers block recently, _very _bad writers block! But I tried, it's taken me a while but I got there! I hope you all enjoyed it, if not, I can accept a flame. Hopefully I've got my inspiration back now. Thank you.


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